hello faithful blog readers, i have something great to share again!
it's a pretty long entry, hope it encourages you all because it encouraged me greatly! :D

for the last few weeks, my spiritual life was really bad. no matter how tired/drained i felt, i didn't realise God. i didn't make it a point to pray and seek Him. i relied on my own strength and got really really exhausted. though there were moments where i really thank the Lord for the things that's happening in my life like the recent senggrang trip and some events in church, there's still many burdens in me that i didn't lift it up to the Lord. i was overwhelmed by my own thoughts and was convinced by all the lies.

but our God is Jehovah Nissi, the Lord is my banner! and i have the victory! amen!

step by step, He led me back to His side, to know that i can draw strength from Him always. i'm really grateful for his grace & mercy upon me. no matter how many times i broke His heart, he will never forsake me and is always so merciful to forgive me.

the first step was to meet up with jacq to do quiet time. it's been such a long time since we did qt together. we had a great time catching up and sharing on what we've learnt from our qt. the 3 qt that i did during the meet up spoke soundly to me and i thank the Lord for that! :D

1. to remain faithful & prayerful in evangelism & missions
2. to always come back to Him for forgiveness and thank Him
3. God can turn tragedy to triumph!

i was really encouraged by the 3rd learning point so allow me to share this verse with you guys,

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

yes, in all things, all things are in God's hands and He is sovereign, always. firstly, it reminds me of yeye and secondly it reminds me of myself. i prayed and submitted it to the Lord and pray that he helps both yeye & i to be able to experience His faithfulness from tragedy to triumph!

the second step, the most exciting one! it was during LM (crusade's life meeting) we had our usual LM and had eliza as our speaker for the evening. she shared on Matt 14:22-33 where Jesus walks on water. a familiar passage that has been flashing in my life but it brought me to another level of thinking and insights as eliza shared.

3 points as well:
1. Peter's desire for God (despite the circumstance he was in!)
2. Dare to ask for the impossible
3. Be ready and willing to respond in obedience

no. 1 states very clearly, that no matter what situation we are in, we ought to desire for God still. Peter was caught in a storm but yet he wanted to reach God (many may ask, why didn't he ask God come over instead) well, i guess this illustrates how strong the desire was.

no. 2 to me is interesting and challenging! just as i was walking home from school, i saw this old lady who's always at my void deck walking really slowly at the market place, i had this impression that i wanna share the gospel to her. then i was puzzled, "God, really? but i don't know how?!" and also this no. 2 reminds me of yeye's condition as well. his condition has been stagnant and i was really afraid when i see him in a daze the last visit when he opened his eyes. lastly, it is also the mission trip that i have decided to go next march with tp ministry for gen12ii. i'm worried that my mummy might not give me her approval. :(

Dear Lord,
i pray for opportunities to share to the old lady, you prepare me and help me to be ready when the opportunity comes. i want to submit yeye's recovery unto your merciful hands as well. Lord, You are Jehovah Rapha, the great healer. Lord, if it's your will, help me to open up the way to go to the mission trip. Lord, help me to help mummy to understand and give me her support. help me to place my faith in you, and know that faith without action is dead. i wanna be like Peter instead of the remaining disciples who stayed in the boat. Peter experienced God while the rest could only be spectators. i want to be a participant too!

no. 3 reminded me to be ready and obedient and to fix my eyes upon Jesus and not be wavered by other factors.

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" Matt 14:30-31

sometimes when we're on this journey of experiencing God (just like Peter walking on the water) our focus may waver and we focus on other things instead but when we are falling and cry out to the Lord, Jesus will reach out His hand to catch us immediately. this made me realise His hand after this few weeks of down moments. i finally realised! yay! :D i must always look out for Jesus' hand!

as for the last step, God sent some friends to encouraged me. one friend of mine was sharing with me how he's doing in school and how he looks forward to QT everyday. this motivates me to learn from him and seek the Lord. as long as you put God in your mind...

i was talking to Jack too, he encouraged me too by telling me not to give up and keep praying. i will keep praying! :D pray until something happens. i'll PUSH.

well, something unpleasant just happened to a good friend of mine. till now, i'm feeling very sad. but i prayed and asked God to show grace and mercy to her family. Jehovah Shalom, Lord may your peace be with her as she goes through her A levels.

Our faith is not a passive faith but an active faith.
While we are faithless, remember that the Lord is always faithful!